SOPs For Household Management

by Blaine Pendleton, February 2, 2004

We live in a world in which most Christians have a radical disconnect between their orthodoxy (their sound theological foundation) and their orthopraxy (the practical application of their faith in the real world). From the beginning of our ministry Vision Forum Ministires has been committed to the wedding of orthodoxy and orthopraxy. Christianity is for real life. Because we are in the “vision” business, so to speak, our passion and joy is casting vision and blessing to our friends and family through practical ideas for applying sound theology to the culture of Christian family life. That is why I was so excited recently to visit with Blaine Pendleton, former combat helicopter pilot in the United States Army, visionary patriarch and father of seven children, including our former collegue at Vision Forum Ministries, Joel (who has returned to Alabama to follow his dream flying planes with his father). Blaine runs a tight ship, but an extremely happy home, as anyone would testify who has met his wife and children. He has successfully applied some of his own military organization styles, to the management of his household, yet without a negative military edge to it. There are differences in the way that Blaine and I manage our households, as there should be with every father on the planet. These are glorious differences which reflect the fact that each man must personally study, pray and work out the wisest management approach for his own family. A well-run houshold should reflect the unique mission of the family, the personalities, histories, and priorities of the parents, as well as the number and age of the children, availablility of Christian community, extended family and a score of other important issues. This means that no two housholds have to be managed the same way. The biblical principles of management don’t change, but the practical applications do from family to family based on changing facts and cirucmstances. Men need to remember that a biblical test of leadership is that they are faithful houshold managers. Household management is not an after thought for a man, it should be a priority.

With this in mind I am including for your enjoyment and inspiration, Brother Blaine Pendleton’s Household SOPs (Standard Operating Procedures) by which he manages his household. All the members of the family are expected to learn and know these SOPs and follow them. Because he rules his houshold with tender love and affection, the children have grown to thrive under these guidelines. On last comment: It is a sad thing today, but people are so quick to call people “legalist” the first time they make a practical application of a biblical principle, that it is sometimes necessary to remind our loved ones in Christ, that suggestions are not mandates, they are simply suggestions. Enjoy this one brother’s approach, and consider if you can glean from his wisdom, any wisdom for the management of your own household. — D.W.P

Pendletons want to live Simple, Separate and Deliberate lives for the glory of God and the building of His kingdom. The purpose of this SOP is to help us accomplish this goal by implementing some simple rules and guidelines that, when followed, will keep our priorities and focus right, and guard us against the tyranny of the urgent.

I. Daily Key Events

A. Rise on time, morning checklist/Papa(if home) and Mama
B. School lessons given/Papa and Mama
C. School lessons graded and recorded/Papa and Mama
D. Inspection” Chores and whiteboard/Papa and Mama
E. Dinner on time/Mama
F. Family Worship/ Papa
G. Bed on time/Papa

II. The Seven Family Rules

Personal offenses will be dealt with by following the brother offended checklist. Papa and Mama will deal with violations of rules by following the if-then chart. The principle of “slow down to speed up” is important, i.e. train consistently when issues arise and you’ll have better trained children, therefore more will get accomplished in the long-run. Any male child 12 years or older that flagrantly violates a rule when Papa is gone will be sent outside to work. (yard care, property maint Etc,) until Papa returns home.

A. Be kind and loving in all you say and do. Rom 13:10
B Cheerfully obey without delay. Eph. 6:1
C. If you get it out, put it back, if you make a mess, clean it up. 1 Tim. 3:5
D. Be a good steward (don’t misuse or waste) Luke 12:42-44
E. Tell the whole truth the first time. Col 3:9
F. Be “where” directed doing “what” directed. Prov. 20:6-7
G. Accept discipline properly. Prov. 29:15

III. School.

We must proactively follow the Hebrew model of education (Deut.6) rather than the Greek model. Academics are important, however, heart level relationships are more important than academics.

A. Bible study and core academics, consisting of math and language arts, is primarily accomplished between breakfast and lunch. Life Training and other subjects primarily take place between lunch and dinner.

B. Mama must give and/or monitor assignments each day for E/A1/M/L/A2 Papa is responsible for J1’s and J2’s academics and Life Training.

C. Minimum passing score is 85% 1st time, 90% 2nd time, 95% 3rd time.

D. School Rules. The seven family rules apply at all times. During school the following rules also apply.

1. All school is done in the school room
2. Talking may only be school related.
3. During school hours the house is kept quiet. (Even in the playroom)
4. All work is to be done diligently, thoroughly and neatly.
5. When help is needed quietly indicate it on the “Help Please” board then wait patiently until Papa or Mama arrive. While waiting work on or study other school subjects.
6. Children inform Papa or Mama using the “help please” board when ready for a quiz/test and immediately upon completion, and also when assignments are complete and ready for grading.
7. Micah and Lydia, when not doing school may play in playroom, outside or quietly in the schoolroom as specifically directed by Mama.

IV. Chores.

Daily chore time and pick-ups are done according to the schedule. Children will start on time without prompting, all items done by the checklist, and a thorough “walk around” performed before requesting inspection by Papa/Mama. No one is complete until chores and pick-ups pass inspection. The “CHORE” block on the Daily White Board represents both morning chores and afternoon pick-ups.

V. Daily Free Time.

Given by Papa/Mama when complete with school, chores, and any additional duties listed on the white board or assignment sheet.

VI. Time Management

Priority Definition: importance placed on one thing as compared to another. A priority is determined by what it takes to displace it.

A. Godly priorities

1. Personal Spiritual growth and relationship with God
2. Family (Husband/Wife and Children)
3. Ministry (Grows from 1 and 2) Matt 22:37-40; Eph 5:25; Deut 6:6-7; 1 Tim 3:1/5:8; Matt 28:19-20; Gal 6:10; Titus 2:1, 4-5, 15)

B. Hospitality/Ministry. The basic principle to follow is for Papa and Mama to discuss each situation and decide how best to have hospitality/ministry. Questions to ask:

1. Is God leading us to do this?
2. Is this a true ministry to the other people?
3. Have we had a lot of commitments recently?
4. Would this be edifying for the whole family?
5. What is Papa’s work schedule?
6. Can the situation be modified to make it more palatable such as dessert VS dinner or meeting at a restaurant?

C. Time Protection Guidelines

1. The school day must be protected MON-FRI from outside commitments; during school hours we use the answering machine.
2. Normally Papa will run any family errands or pick up any supplies on his way to or from work. Errands or supply runs can also be accomplished during piano lessons.
3. Normally, no commitments for company until Friday evening.
4. Only one reoccurring evening commitment during the week except for special circumstances.
5. No email/internet until kids are in bed unless school or home management related.

D. Planned Weekly Time Commitments outside the Home

1. Church meeting on Sunday
2. Piano on Thursday

VII. Accountability.

The purpose of the accountability charts are to help Papa lead the family by keeping track of how everyone is doing daily and long term, as well as to see how planned and unplanned events are impacting our goals and priorities.

A. Papa will use two accountability charts which will be updated daily:

1. Time - When applicable Daily Key events are all completed fill in the block on the chart. If an event is not completed the number of that event(s) is placed in the block. Excused days are: H = Holiday; C = Company; T = Travel; * = Other

2. Money - Fill in the block at end of the day when exact checking and saving account balances are known. Excused days are same as above.

B. Mama. When Daily Key Events are all completed then the block on the accountability chart is filled in. Mama’s excused days are the same as Papa’s.

C. Children.

1. Daily White Board. When each DWB item is completed and “X” is placed in the block. If the item is one requiring Papa/Mama inspection, then place a “/” in the block and the parent will complete the “X”

2. Accountability Chart. Each child will have their own chart. When all required blocks on the DWB are completed the block is filled in for that day by Papa. Excused days are the same as Papa’s.

3. Allowance. Each day (Mon — Fri) that the Accountability Chart block is filled in the person receives their daily allowance in the form of cash or a receipt. If all five blocks were filled in that week then two extra days of allowance are given on Friday! For weeks that only have four days, two days extra allowance will be given for all four days being filled in; for weeks with three or less one extra days allowance can be earned. If the person does not get at least three days completed then they lose all privileges during the upcoming weekend. Allowance amounts are as follows: J1=$4.50 day ($31.50 week); J2=$3.50 day ($24.50 week); E=$2.50 day ($17.50 week); A1=$1.50 ($10.50 week); M=$.75 day ($5.25 week); L=$.50 day ($3.50 week); A2=$.25 day ($1.75 week).