A Short Window, a Sacred Trust
A Report on the 2007 Father and Daughter Retreat
by Lindsay Keen, April 14, 2007
The sun shone bright and cheery as nearly 560 fathers and daughters from across the country arrived at beautiful Callaway Gardens for the 2007 Vision Forum Father and Daughter Retreat. Their delightful weekend started off with a few fun outdoor games designed to help fathers and daughters build unity as they worked together toward specific goals. Fathers guiding daughters, and daughters listening to the careful instruction of their fathers, brought each team to a victorious finish.
After a few fun hours of playing games and enjoying a scrumptious southern picnic and ice cream social, Mr. Phillips gave a message conveying the vision for the weekend. He encouraged each father and daughter to stop and take time to nurture their relationship with one another, emphasizing this point: that the “little girl” years in the life of a daughter are short and pass very quickly. Once that time has passed, it is gone forever.
Mr. Phillips then compared the lovely daughters that filled the room to the beautiful butterflies that grace the famous Butterfly Center on the grounds of Callaway Gardens. He spoke of how the life of each butterfly is so short, yet much is accomplished in that short lifespan. Future generations of butterflies depend on each one to do his part. In the same way, the people of God must do their part to live their lives in such a way as to secure the future of generations of children yet to be born.
Next, Scott Brown delivered a message based on Malachi 4 which emphasized the importance of fathers and daughters turning their hearts toward one another. Expounding on this theme, he observed:
The gospel will bring fathers and daughters together in a particular way when they are saved by the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ. The gospel is a relationship-altering force, designed by God to alter forever a relationship that could be marked by heartache, sadness, brokenness, and destruction.
Following a night of rest, Mr. Phillips opened the Saturday morning session by discussing how most children of our generation do not know where they came from, where they have been, or where they are going. In order to help sons and daughters gain vision and context for their lives, he explained that fathers should write books for their children, passing on the goodness of God’s story to the next generation. “Your life is to be an epistle,” he explained, “a written document of truth.”
Mr. Phillips then went on to tell what chapters should be included in the family account and why. To the daughters, he encouraged:
If you are a daughter of Zion, a true daughter of Jerusalem gathered here today, and your desire is to persevere in Christ — and I pray to give your heart to your father — if that’s the case, then you must crave reading your father’s book.
The core of his message was this: Through the timeless medium of a book written to his children, a father can speak to the generations to come the life-message and vision that God has given him to share.
Next Mr. Geoff Botkin came forward and introduced his two delightful daughters, Anna Sofia and Elizabeth. Both Anna Sofia and Elizabeth did an excellent job of defining true biblical femininity in their message that followed.
Anna Sofia reminded those assembled that this year is the quadricentennial anniversary of the settling of Jamestown. This event marks “the beginning of one of the greatest dominion endeavors in history, the founding and settling of America, in the spirit of the great commission and the dominion mandate,” she explained.
Anna Sofia went onto describe the courage and commitment of the women who were part of this important mission in the early days of colonization in America: “In 1620, twenty-nine women boarded the ship, the Mayflower, with their husbands to assist in this dominion work of settling the new world.” These women knew the dangers they were facing, she noted, but “they were ready to make the ultimate sacrifice for their children, their grandchildren, and ultimately for us.”
The following spring, only seven of these twenty-nine courageous women were still alive, Anna Sofia further explained — yet there are now an estimated thirty million Americans directly descended from these seven women: “The fact that we are all here today is a testament to the dominion-oriented femininity of these women.” To encapsulate her point, she noted that in Plymouth, Massachusetts there is a monument to the mothers of our nation that fittingly reads, “They brought up their families in sturdy virtue and a living faith in God, without which nations perish.”
Following Anna Sofia’s remarks, Elizabeth spoke about true, biblical femininity which she defined in these simple terms: “True femininity is about helping men fulfill their calling. Any departure from this is a departure from biblical femininity.” She then contrasted true feminine, godly ladies with the Barbie image that is so prevalent in our culture today. Elizabeth challenged daughters with this probing thought: “Providence has given us the rare opportunity to build a new culture of femininity on the foundation of Sola Scriptura. It is a privilege of our generation to purposefully and deliberately pioneer real femininity” based on the examples of the virtuous woman in the Scriptures. She then shared this gem about what a true lady is:
A lady is a woman who understands she has been bought with a price and therefore glorifies God in her body and spirit, which are God’s. She surrenders every aspect of her being and identity to God. Like a shepherd, she thinks of everyone before herself and endeavors to lead others back to Christian civilization and obedience to God by her example.
Anna Sofia followed by discussing the vital importance of daughters giving their hearts to their fathers. She challenged girls to be an open book to their dads, telling them their deepest heart issues. Most importantly, Anna Sofia underscored that daughters should not feel a need to wait until their hearts are perfect before they give them over to their father’s care. They should be given now — today — however imperfect they may be.
Anna Sofia further observed that the world is crying out for great men. Most women recognize this need, she noted, however, they themselves try to fill this void rather than building up and encouraging the men God has placed within their sphere of influence. We do not need any more pseudo-men, she emphasized — we need women who will stand by man’s side, not shove him out of the way.
Elizabeth continued their session by talking about the battlefield on which women find themselves today. Speaking directly to daughters, she declared that it’s not a woman’s job to go out and change the world; it’s a woman’s job to take dominion within the home. It is not for girls to try and escape into a fantasy world or bewail the fact that they are needed to serve at home. The battle is taking place on the home front, and daughters at home are serving a great cause.
Elizabeth concluded her remarks with this gripping quote from Abigail Adams:
These are the times in which a genius would wish to live. It is not in the still, calm of life or in the repose of pacific station that great characters are born. The habits of a vigorous mind are formed in contending with difficulties. Great necessities call out great virtues.
Anna Sofia brought her and Elizabeth’s message to a close with this tribute to their mother:
She is a woman who lost her life for Christ’s sake and found it; who made her husband great and was subordinate to him in everything, though inferior to him in nothing. A woman such as this will be remembered with more respect than her contemporaries, who fought with religious zeal for recognition and prestige and now have no one to rise up and call them blessed.
Mr. Botkin followed his daughters’ talk with a personal glimpse into his methods and thinking in raising his girls to be strong, visionary pictures of femininity. He started by answering the twenty-five questions he is most often asked about training daughters and then discussed the need for godly boldness:
None of us have the privilege or luxury of shrinking back; we cannot shrink back on anything we do on behalf of the Lord Jesus Christ. We have to pray; we have to calm our shaking knees if we’re in a situation that’s nerve-wracking or making us nervous or fearful.
After the Botkins’ session, there was a special time for questions and answers. For many fathers and daughters, this was one of the highlights of the weekend. The floor was open to all, and everyone was given the opportunity to ask whatever questions were on their heart. The questions were answered by a speaker panel which included Mr. Phillips, Mr. Brown, Mr. Botkin, and Anna Sofia and Elizabeth Botkin.
Crowning the morning’s sessions was the charming High Tea. Among the table decorations were a tea cup and saucer for each father and daughter to use for tea and then keep. Each table was graced with a Tussie Mussie centerpiece (Victorian bouquet-holder). These centerpieces were lovingly prepared by Mrs. Bonnie Chancey, a picture of Southern grace, along with a team of willing and joyful volunteers. At the end of the tea, the Tussie Mussie was given to one delighted young daughter at each tea table as a special gift of remembrance. The fathers and daughters really dressed up for this special event and were treated to quite a feast. The sweet treats at the end completed the celebratory atmosphere, and the exquisite table settings truly made this an event to remember.
After the tea, fathers and daughters gathered to have their portraits taken on the beautiful garden patio. The rest of the afternoon was reserved for exploring the lovely gardens at Callaway. Fathers and daughters were able to see the fascinating and renowned butterfly conservatory, stroll around the endless gardens, and soak in the sight of beautiful azaleas in full bloom.
Following dinner, the Saturday evening session began with a series of fun and hilarious father/daughter contests. Some of the dads serenaded their daughters, showing love and devotion by this special and tender attention. Then several daughters had the opportunity to help their fathers get ready for work by combing their dad’s hair, helping him shave, tying his tie, and helping him put on his shoes.
After the games, Mr. Phillips introduced Mr. Bill Snead, an 86-year-old gentleman who flew bombers in WWII and appeared in the film, The League of Grateful Sons. Mr. Snead attended the conference with his grown daughter, Mrs. Bonnie Chancey, who had come to make the beautiful Tussie Mussies and help with other details that made the high tea such a special event. In meeting Mr. Snead, fathers and daughters just starting out on the path of dominion-taking were able to see a man who had fought for his country and faithfully served his family of three children, eight grandchildren, and fourteen great-grandchildren. The response to Mr. Snead’s example was overwhelming, as the crowd roused to give him a standing ovation.
Following this, Mr. Botkin and his daughters delighted listeners with a musical presentation. Mr. Botkin played guitar while his daughters each played a harp — a glorious example of a father and his daughters working together to produce beautiful results.
This led into the closing message of the retreat, a powerful presentation by Mr. Botkin on “The Seven Foundations of a Biblical Legacy.” He spoke of a father’s priority assets — not the financial, but the spiritual — quoting Psalm 112:
How blessed is the man who fears the Lord and greatly delights in his commandments; his children will be mighty in the land; wealth and riches will be in his house and his righteousness will endure forever (Psalm 112:1-3).
Mr. Botkin summarized his message with this point: If you seek first the kingdom of God, then you will find it.
On Sunday morning, everyone gathered for a worship service led by Scott Brown. His excellent sermon was based on Numbers 30, a passage which outlines vows and a father’s position of authority related to them. Mr. Brown spoke of the high value God places on vows, yet He holds the father’s authority in such high regard that even a vow made by a daughter can be countermanded by her father in the day that he hears of it, if he deems the vow to be unwise. Given this principle, He exhorted fathers to take seriously their duty to be vigilant and prompt in protecting and guiding their precious daughters.
In closing, Scott Brown, Doug Phillips, and Geoff Botkin answered questions about daughters living in the world today and offered counsel on how they are to take dominion while serving their fathers.
The Father and Daughter Retreat lasted only a few short days, but the impact of the message given will doubtless bear long-term fruit in the lives of those who embraced the importance of their roles before God. And though the years in the life of a daughter pass quickly, what a joy it is to consider those girls who will now be built up in noble womanhood by fathers who have embraced a vision to faithfully shepherd their hearts.